Leaning on His word.

I have been wronged. Now, I realized that we’ve all been mistreated before at some point, but this time is different. Do you remember this post? Well, I got some really good feedback via my blog as well as facebook, and I am so thankful for all the insight. After much prayer and reflection, I began to forgive- even though our communication with these individuals still remains broken. We have not spoken in months and no apology has been made. However, I have had a verse written in my kitchen that I use as my mantra several times a day ; This verse has helped me to forgive even when forgiveness has not been sought:

"…get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice"

Ephesians 4:31

As of recently, a new barrier has surfaced and I am left even more hurt and confused than I was before. My husband, out of love and compassion, spared me from words of anger and bitterness that were said back around the New Year. I am thankful that he had my best interest at heart, but now I find myself stewing over words that were said nearly 3 months ago. Words that no adult has ever said about me- words that are ridiculously untrue and cut me to the core. These are words that no family member should ever utter about another because they cannot be taken back. I realize I should take these remarks with a grain of salt because of the mental state of the persons behind them, but it is so much easier said than done.

I have gotten the tears and self-pitty out of my system, and now I am ready to move on….but how? These persons are a part of our lives, as well as our children’s…or at least they should be. Maybe I ought to be grateful that my children will not be influenced by their negativity, but I’m not at that point yet. I can’t stand that I was so close to “getting over” my anger and bitterness, and now I’m right back where I started.

Please pray, friends, for insight and peace for my husband and myself. As my dad pointed out to me, the only good thing that has come out of this situation is that it definitely has brought us closer in our marriage. We back each other 100% and it feels so good to know that he is on my side- even with “the enemy” being his blood. I thank God daily for the blessing of such a wonderful huband to me and father to our children.

I’ll leave you with a verse that my mom often refers me to- bless her for always knowing what I need to hear!

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Matthew 5:44