As I have shared with you before, I am a worry-wart. I know that the Bible says that Jesus WILL return- that it's not a matter of if, but when. Since I am a Believer, and I find truth in His word, I know this to be true. However, I can't help but worry over the unknown.
I believe that our Heavenly Father has prepared an amazingly, unfathomable home for us, and that this earth will pale in comparison, but I have to be honest: I love this earth. Please don't take this as boasting, but I have a wonderful life. I have been so blessed as to not suffer any substantial amount of grief or loss. All of my close loved ones are, thankfully, still with me and I am happy.
I want to see my babies grow up, and I want to have more babies. I want to grow old with my husband, live to be 99, and then have Jesus come back and take us to Heaven. I don't want to go yet because all I can see is how good I have it here and I, admittedly, fear the unknown. I realize that is where faith comes in, but I am struggling.
A close friend of mine lost her baby girl several years ago. I look at her situation and can clearly see how excited she must be to be reunited with her sweet baby one day. Of course I do not want to loose my children, husband, or parents, etc. to death, but if I did, I would understand having the same excitement. I, however, have no great reunion to make with loved-ones. This makes me question, why is meeting my Maker face-to-face not reason enough to be excited? Because I love what I know.
I have so much worry, doubt, fear, confusion, and many, many questions running through my mind. Has anyone else ever felt like they just didn't want Him to come back quite yet, or am I being completely absurd? I pray that He draws me closer and opens up my heart to receive His peace. Please do the same for me :)
Erin
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